Sunday, 7 July 2013

Entry 8

Entry 8

Some people may be unnerved if told another had a dream about them and it is therefore inappropriate to mention it. If it is important that they are notified, better phrasing should be used.

Dear Internet,


So, apparently this is a thing. I have to say, I'm not too surprised about this one, I mean, I personally wouldn't find it creepy, but it seems to be a very common reaction. What I meant about "better phrasing" is instead of saying "I had a dream about you", it might be preferable to say something like "you were in my dream". The first phrase makes it sound as it the person was the focus of the dream and, even if this may be true, it seems to be better to... avoid mentioning that. The second phrase, however, sounds a little more passive. And I think that's what matters. For a lot of people, directness can be unsettling.

From Sarah.

Sunday, 23 June 2013

Entry 7

Entry 7

The truth should be worded carefully.

Dear Internet,


I'm still not entirely sure how this one works or what it really means. The truth is just, well, the truth, is it not? If anyone could enlighten me, it would be much appreciated. This happened several months back when we were discussing a member of our group and how she was being a huge pain in arse and how we should break it to her. My suggestion was to just tell her, but apparently "the truth should be worded carefully".This, of course, was followed by many mutters of agreement and so I just stopped talking.

Unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on what view you hold - being blunt is just one of those things we aspies do. We can't help it. A lot of people appreciate honesty and we may occasionally get thanked for being truthful, but as ever there are people who are unable to handle said truth. Often our words are interpreted as cold, insensitive or intentionally rude. It's just one of those things that shouldn't happen but does.

From Sarah.

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Entry 6

Entry 6

Others may not appreciate their belongings being ordered chronologically, alphabetically, thematically, by a colour-coded system or otherwise.

Dear Internet,


Personally, I don't understand this one. Why not? I'm only trying to help. Who in their right mind doesn't like having their possessions in an order that makes their stuff easily found and accessible? It makes absolutely no sense to me so I'm sorry if I rearrange your bookcase or CD/DVD collection, but I swear I am genuinely trying to help you. As well as the fact that unordered belongings make me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

But looking at it from the flip side, I get very unsettled when someone tries to rearrange my stuff when I have it in a specific order, so I suppose it makes sense that others may not like their stuff being reordered. Of course, there are people who don't mind it or actually welcome it. However, seeing as I can never read people and will never be able the two apart, I'm not even sure why I made that point. Eesh.

From Sarah.

Sunday, 26 May 2013

Entry 5

Entry 5

Spinning when feeling tense or overstimulated is a stare-worthy activity and may alienate those present.

Dear Internet,


Spinning is something I do a lot. Rocking is a typical autistic behaviour and, whilst I do rock, both are stims and fall under the umbrella of repetitive behaviour. I've also noticed that I spin a lot at train stations. Probably because it's so loud and crowded and there are weird smells, not to mention the stress of getting the right train at the right time. There are just too many things going on and spinning helps me almost to block out everything going on. It's very calming for me, but apparently not for other people. Several times I've been approached by others waiting on the platform to ask if I'm alright.

From Sarah.

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Entry 4

Entry 4

Flinching at another's touch is often regarded as discourteous or unkind, even if aforementioned flinching is involuntary.

Dear Internet,


This is something that I learned fairly early on. Neurotypical people just don't seem to understand that I'm not being rude, I don't think you're disgusting and I certainly am not doing it just to get at you. It makes me feel uncomfortable when you touch me, especially without permission, and I am under the impression that it is only human to not want to feel uncomfortable. All the same, I do try to explain to people who seem hurt that it isn't anything personal.

From Sarah.

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Dear Internet,

I am having a crisis. An actual fucking crisis. I can't breathe and I'm shaking oh shit.

As you probably don't know, I have for many years aspired to be a midwife. I was rejected from four out of five of my university choices (yes, I am that bad at interviews) and I thought that I was very likely going to be rejected from my last one. Until I just got an offer from them.

The fucking brilliant thing is, I have spent all day considering the reality of the job and what that would mean to me (and to others). Meeting one or two new people a day drains me, so what will I be like in a hospital with hundred of people I have never seen before in my life? Not to mention the fact that I will have peoples' lives in my hands on a daily basis and fuck, I can hardly handle my own life sufficiently. I would not struggle with the science and technicalities of the job - that's the easy bit - and until recently I had sort of ignored all the people stuff that I would have to learn about to be a good midwife.

The thing is, when I told my mum about wanting to be a midwife she was thrilled. As someone very much involved with maternity studies, she was so excited that I wanted to follow in her footsteps (although not directly) and I really really don't want to break it to her that midwifery might not be for me.

I still have a month to decide what I'm going to do, but I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I might just be having doubts. This might be over by tomorrow. Fuck I wish someone could just give me a sign to tell me what would be best.

I apologise for my atrocious English, but at the moment it's difficult enough to type without having to think about the word vomit I'm producing.

From Sarah.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Entry 3

Entry 3

Recognising aptitude in a certain area of study can be mistaken for arrogance. To avoid this, use of overt modesty is advisable.

Dear Internet,

Self-explaintory really. Even just saying, "Oh here, let me do that. I'm good at it" can be seen as over-confidence, which I think is silly. I mean, if you're better at something than average and you enjoy it, why shouldn't you be able to say, "Yes, I can do that and I can that well"? I don't know, it might just be a British thing and nothing to do with autism at all.

This is one of those things that I was told about straight after doing it. I vividly remember being in Year 7 or 8 and overhearing people talking about how arrogant I was for answering all the questions posed to us in Maths and putting myself forward for doing the Maths Challenge. I enjoyed it and was incredibly good at it and I was genuinely shocked that other people were bothered by lack of humility. Now-a-days I just feel ashamed if I point out my skills and I don't think that's right. We should all be allowed to be proud of things that we're good at.

From Sarah.